Faith in People
I love what I do. I work with people assisting them to empower themselves and others around them. I enjoy showing people that they are worthwhile individuals who deserve respect. People can choose to be as healthy and well rounded as they desire. The nice thing is they have the right to make that choice. Can you imagine a culture in which the family career is your career or the social status is dictated by your family and their history? I know I would not like that. I know I always wanted to do better than what I was raised with and I always believed my mother wanted better for me and my siblings as well. I have always wanted to make a difference and to help people to break through their dysfunction and to make a healthier and better life decisions for themselves. Don't get me wrong, people in general are still going to have problems however I like being a part of their life to help show them and guide them to a better life or better choices. I believe that despite our inherent bad nature that people overall work to do what is right and good. I believe that all individuals are capable but must foster that motivation for themselves. I believe their are a number of people who foster that healthy motivation for themselves and I applaud them for their life time development.
posted by Christie | 11:57 AM
7 Comments:
But what about those who don't? What about the people that come in wanting their problems to be solved and when you try to help them all that they do is make excuses? What about the people that think that they have it all together and aren't willing to change?
Change is very difficult for everyone. Oftentimes, in order for people to come to the decision that they need to change they need to first decide that the pain of change is going to be less than or worth the pain of staying in the same same problem.
"the undiscover'd country from whose bourn, no traveller returns, puzzels the mind,and makes us rather bare the ills we have than to fly to those that we know not of? Thus our conscience does make cowards of us all" Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1
(I know the quote is talking about death/suicide, but the concept is the same)
I hear your frustration. I hear your passion to help. I know that you are a very cognitive person and do not always agree that feelings play a large part in people's resistence. The problem lies in people don't always realize how they are feeling unless you point it out to them. A resistent client may come to you and say I want this but I am not willing to to do that. Then you stop and just reflect those feelings associated with their problems. You seem frustrated, you seem sad, you seem angry, you seem stuck to me. Let them understand you understand their feelings. Be careful not to give them a feeling (you are sad, etc). After complaining for a couple of sessions with not a lot of progress ask them what they are doing to solve the problem and then ask them if it is working. What they are doing is not working and that is why they are seeing you. Explain that you can help with changes but those changes are not easy and you cannot do it for them (you need to remember this especially for yourself) this is the same concept horses learn in order for them to be trained and it is called joining-making your goals their goals. If they are willing you will be happy to spend the time to guide them to change (this reflection of feeling can happen in the relationship building stage). It is important to let the client know you, as a counselor, can not pull out a magic wand and make those problems disappear. It takes time and a committment to work on their part that will bring about that change and through changes their life will be better. Encourage, encourage, encourage-need I say more-them that they can do it. Sell them on the fact that with determination they can change. If you are comfortable you could disclose a little about yourself. Be general and not long winded. Remember its their session. Let them do a lot of the talking.
Actually, the desire for change has to come from them. If they aren't willing or interested in change it doesn't matter so much what we do. We can try to point them in the right direction, but unless they are willing to accept that they need to change and are willing to put the effort into it, what we say will have little impact.
by the way, how's the job hunt going?
you can only help those who want to help themselves
Hi Christie, it’s late in the evening, quiet and peaceful. This is good computer time for me. I thought I would check on Relax At Home and see what came up. Faith in People is something that is interesting to many people. I will also spend a little time checking on Relax At Home. Getting late, have a good evening.
Hi Christie, I am cruising the blogs looking for any information on Relax At Home and landed here. Although Faith in People is interesting and got my attention, I will add this knowledge to my storehouse of information. I never know where Relax At Home will take me. Have a great day!
Post a Comment
<< Home