Ethics

I am surrounded by ethics, ethics at work, home, and in hobbies. Respect, and Responsibility, why do I have to have them and not everyone else. If I was irrespnsible and disrespectable not only could I get farther in life, like the career ladder (just sleep with the bosses boss) and have what I want but I wouldn't get any sleep. Sleeps overated anyways, no one else gets sleep. I would feel bad but I already feel bad in this totally sunshine defective state anyways. I would be hated by those whom I have disrespected and let down. What does that matter, no one seems to care anyways. I wouldn't have any good character traits, who cares no one else does. What drives me to have ethics, to be respectful and to be responsible? I don't know except that there is that desire to do what is right, just, and respectful to my best abilities. The burden of caring what others think and feel, and how my actions affect others. I wish others could have this same burden on their shoulders.

What can I have?

I love my family. I want to be happy. I want to be comfortable (financially). I am tired of coughing fits, using my inhaler, and feeling like I have stones in my chest. I want to live in my own house without paying a boat load of taxes (including state, federal, and county). I want to be able to afford things I like (a massage, a manicure). I want to live where people have a sense of style (not a 10 years ago style) and good restaurants (PF Changs, Cheese Cake Factory, Thai) to eat in without having to drive 20 minutes out of the way. I want to drive to an outlet mall (Allen Outlet Mall) that is not an hour and a half away and pay gas ($2.00 a gallon) without breaking the bank. I want to live where it is warm (snow is a weather anomoly) most of the time. I want affordable housing with the luxuries I believe I deserve. Am I asking too much or am I asking for what God wants me to have. I just want to be happy.

Winter is Here Again

I know it is Winter when I don't want to get out of bed because my bed is warmer than the air. Well this morning was the first time this season I didn't want to get out of bed. I use my morning shower to warm up. I also have a decrease in energy this time of the year. I don't want to do anything outside because I want to stay warm. I greatly dislike shoveling and waiting for my car to warm up. Winter is no fun and I am not looking forward to it. Not only does the weather suck but holidays can be stressful for me. I haven't even started getting gifts for my family members yet. I am waiting on my pay raise to help me to afford gifts for my family. I don't like the structure I make for myself to be disrupted and it is especially during the holidays. My birthday is also this time of the year. It is not cool to get a card that says Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. It makes me want to send someone a card back saying Merry Christmas and here is the card for your birthday too. Winter is here and I can't wait to see buds on the trees in the next 4 months.

Election Time

It's election time and the slander is running full force. It is just amazing to me how people love to do each other in. It is like a feeding frenzy of gossip, sometimes it true, most of the time it is not. It is a contest over who can make the other seem the worst. Unfortunately, the best candidate is the one not running due to not wanting to fall in the trap of being gossiped over. My family has always been a patriotic family who believes in the duty of voting unfortunately they live in NY and political decisions are made in New York City. Texas has some cool election policies including early voting which occurred two weeks prior to the election week. I took advantage of the early election voting. It was great to not have to stand in line. There was also some state of the art voting technology. Don't forget to vote on November 7th.

I'm back

Life after 1 year and 2 months is slowly starting to get back to the way it was and the way I am most comfortable with. Internet access, I never thought I could live without it. Well I did and I hated it. I am back on-line at home. One thing back to normal. The next thing is going to be cable, then a large screen tv, surround sound, projector, and then high definition cable somewhere in there I want to get a house. Now all I need is money or a committed boyfriend who has money, just kidding. I am also planning a vacation. What is a vacation? I haven't been on a vacation for over a 1 1/2 years. I am starting to think Rochester is the only city in the world. I am investigating vacations to visit my friends in Texas, and a possible cruise on the west coast to see San Diego, revisit Los Angeles and others. Seriously, how am I going to fund all these things. Real estate sales are down for even the most experienced sales person. I am committed to doing the real estate stuff so hopefully I can get some money back when I get a refund on my taxes. My broker has said it will take about 2 years before I will make money doing real estate sales. Well hopefully it will be a little sooner than that.

LIfe As It Comes

Life never seems to go the way you want it to. I have so many aspirations and dreams. I want to conquer the world however God seems to have another path. I get so annoyed sometimes when what I want does not coincide with what God is wanting for me. I want things in my time, and under my own conditions. It's my life why can't I just do it my way? I guess I could but then I would suffer a lot more stress and problems than I want to. So what is the best alternative? Should I stop dreaming and just let life happen? I don't think that is what God intended our life to be like. God gave me dreams and aspirations for a reason-I guess I just have to do what I can to follow where God is leading me and to trust that God is going to lead me in a direction that is beneficial for him as well as for me. I have to take life as it comes and be in communication with God that everything will turn out for his glory and my benefit.

Rescue-How I Loath the Words

Rescue, how I loath the words. Why do people feel thay need to rescue me? What am I portraying that someon needs to take care of me? Is it something I say?--Maybe I complain too much?--Something about my demeanur? Do I give mixed messages? What is it? What can I do about it? How can I better protray not needing rescuing? Is it really me? I don't know and I don't know what or how to do something about it? Do I communicate too much or expose myself to others too easily? It happens at work, my family, and my ex-husband. How can I better portray myself? Is it people's perception or lack of assertiveness? I desire for it to stop. Do I need to communicate to people who do it that I don't like it? What would I say? How would I say it? When would I say it?